Fear (1996)

Directed by James Foley. In addition to this film, quite a few movies have been described as a "teen 'Fatal Attraction'" (2002's "Swimfan;" 1993's "The Crush;" and of course, 1998's "Devil in the Flesh"), though I tend to think of "Fatal Attraction" as "Fear" poorly lacking in Reese Witherspoon. And to be completely fair, "Fatal Attraction" also suffers from excessive amounts of Michael Douglas.

"Fear" is about the Walker family, who, like most American families during the '90s, live in Seattle. Also common to most American families during the '90s, the Walkers are trying to bond following years of dysfunction and estrangement. Nicole Walker, now 16 years old and beautiful, is sweet and pure but feels as confined and sexually curious as anybody her age (Witherspoon was 21). When she meets David (Mark Wahlberg), who is devilishly charming, she's putty in his hands.

This is why, Nicole's dad, Steve Walker (William Peterson ) is arguably the main character in "Fear." Wahlberg's nutty character is far more interested in Nicole's sexuality as a way to unravel her father's paternal masculinity. Director Foley ("Glengarry Glen Ross") makes sure Wahlberg's rage is driven by his character's own daddy issues, not Nicole's daddy -- and certainly not their budding romance, creating all kinds of mad, stalker weirdness.


Recommended!

All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

Directed by Lucky McKee. The first 15 minutes of this film promise what seems like a darkly funny post-"Heathers" satire of high school politics. But before long, it quickly reveals itself to be just another stupid zombie movie.

This brutality was directed by Lucky McKee, whose IMDB bio reads, "raised in the small riverbank town of Jenny Lind in Calaveras County, California, Edward Lucky McKee grew up mostly in poverty with little access to modern forms of entertainment." It would have been kind to at least bring Edward to a movie before letting him make one.

During the final half-hour of this film it is very, very important to all of the characters that they achieve something, or obtain something, or get rid of it -- I think -- in order to make everything normal again. This ordeal involves a lot of flashing lights, heads exploding, blood everywhere -- and people trying to move rocks to different places. They're very passionate about the rocks. It made me wish I could find some enthusiasm for it all too.

Run away!

Diary of a Bachelor (1964)

Directed by Sandy Howard. In this crisply restored drive-in movie, Skip (William Traylor) is a high-powered realtor in 1960s Manhattan with a baffling reputation as a dapper playboy, considering he looks a lot more like an entomologist.

Despite Skip's natural entomological good looks he is about to exchange his ne'er do well lifestyle and settle down with super hottie Joanne Burns (Dagne Crane). But not so fast! It seems Skip keeps a diary, and when Joanne discovers this (by going through his things) she goes batshit crazy -- and not because only teenage girls keep diaries, which makes Skip seem like a colossal tool. Turns out it's because of what Skip actually writes in his diary. He documents all of his sexual pursuits.

"Pursuits" is more the word than "conquests" because Skip couldn't get laid in a brothel. Well, that's not completely fair. Skip deserves that much benefit of doubt because at one point here he does make it with a hooker, even though she's the kind of hooker who...surprise...asks for the cash after the booty bump, which seems sort of unusual.

"Diary of a Bachelor" brilliantly demonstrates American International's shrewd (cheap) production. Tightly budgeted, yet taking place in upscale Manhattan cocktail lounges and Greenwich Village hipster joints, for the most part this still works. One exception are the comically narrow twin doors to Skip's penthouse apartment, which are obviously re-purposed closet doors. These doors are used so frequently as characters enter and exit scenes that eventually, watching the actors turn their bodies sideways to fit through begs for a drinking game. If you do this, please let me know.

Dom Deluise appears in his first film role. Recommended, though not because of that.

Kissin' Cousins (1964)

Directed by Gene Nelson. This Elvis Presley vehicle is without question the first movie I've seen in which the main character has a perfect double, a doppleganger (naturally also played by the film's star), yet this is in no way integral to the plot of the film. If you're aware of another, please let me know.

Josh Morgan, an Army officer (Presley) returns to the Smoky Mountains to convince his kin to allow the military to build an ICBM missile site on their homestead. When Morgan arrives, he realizes that it is impossible to resist that Yvonne Craig, who has an insane body even though her character may or may not be related to him. Yet definitely related is Cousin Jodie, whom we are able to distinguish from Josh because Jodie has blonde highlights and wears denim. Jodie is mountain's champion wrassler, and other hilarious things. Otherwise, he's irrelevant.

You're probably familiar with other films that involve characters with perfect doubles, such as "Vertigo" (1958), "Adaptation" (2002), "Black Swan" (2010) and several versions of "The Prisoner of Zenda." We could debate whether "The Parent Trap" counts because those characters were twins (I'd say no). Only in 2014, there have been four: "Enemy" (with Jake Gyllenhaal), "The Double" (with Jesse Eisenberg), "The Face of Love" (with Annette Bening) and the best of all of them, “Muppets Most Wanted” (with Kermit the Frog).

"Kissin' Cousins" is nothing like any of these because Jodie has nothing to do. It's also not like any contemporary film, which would involve an empathy-based story in which Elvis bonds with his family and decides to convince the military to relocate the missile site, possibly by way of a hilarious scheme that requires his perfect lookalike, Jodie. But no! Instead, this pure propaganda ends with everyone happy because Elvis' uncle was drunk enough on moonshine to sign on the dotted line and hand his land over to the U.S. of A. Really! Big dance number!

Foolin' Around (1980)

Directed by Richard T. Heffron. I could have sworn I saw this movie as a kid at a drive-in as the second feature with "The Buddy Holly Story" but the Buddy Holly biopic was released two years earlier so it doesn't seem possible. Strange. I must have seen it as the second feature with something else, but also saw "The Buddy Holly Story" two years earlier at the drive-in.

Gary Busey is one of those guys I think people expected quite a bit and this movie captures that it was not to be.

Though we should have known. Despite Oscars and accolade, "The Buddy Holly Story" was not a quality movie. Hollywood's interest in biopics was refreshed and that particular movie benefited from good timing and public interest. But "The Buddy Holly Story" has all of the hallmarks of the worst biopics: composite characters, fictional incidents and constant inaccuracies.

Busey, years away from trauma-induced cranial dementia is charismatic, though it's possible that big roles didn't follow from his 1978 Buddy Holly turn because the arrogant bully the public knows today had already emerged behind Hollywood's closed doors.

And so, two years after "The Buddy Holly Story" we have "Foolin' Around," in which Wes (Busey) arrives from Oklahoma to attend a university in Minnesota, falls in love with psychology student student Susan (Annette O'Toole), a wealthy debutante engaged to snobbish social climber Whitley (John Calvin). Fortunately Susan's grandfather (Eddie Albert) respects Wes's grit and hates Whitley because he's that unrealistically creepy slimeball that we have no reason to believe that Susan should see anything in. But that's the way it always is in this movie, which you've seen the likes of 1,000 times.

But usually this kind of movie is full of talentless nobodies, so this one is a little different. Look for what's gotta be one of William H. Macy's earliest roles, playing a crooked bookseller. In addition to the unnecessary and dumb references to "Rocky" and "The Graduate" there is trite uselessness.

Recommended for late night.

Lassie's Great Adventure (1963)

Directed by William Beaudine. Admittedly, it's been said many times, but only because it's so true: Timmy is a godforsaken idiot. He was blessed with Lassie because he otherwise would have died 90 deaths before his 12th birthday if it weren't for the baffling devotion of that beloved mongrel.

In "Lassie's Great Adventure," a 1963 theatrical release that devilishly strings together five episodes of the 1954 season of the "Lassie" TV series, Timmy accidentally falls into a hot air balloon and is carried away into the Canadian wilderness. I know, right? If you were Timmy's parents, wouldn't you just assume that saving for college is just money down a rat hole?

Lassie joins Timmy for the ride, seemingly by choice, which calls into question her whole reputation. Eventually the balloon lands among the highest treetops of the Canadian Rockies -- a great place to spot the lost boy and dog. Instead, Timmy decides to wander all over the place, showing off expert Boy Scout skills such as knot tying, fishing, and creating the second act of the movie -- really anything other than knowing he should probably just stay put.

An IMDB review comments, "There is no bad language or anything like that. We also enjoyed the action and wonderful nature scenes." I also enjoyed the action, particularly the scene in which Timmy beats a wild boar to death with a log, slaughters the corpse with his Boy Scout knife and roasts it over an open fire. This really happens and if you don't believe me, now you have to see this "movie."

However, there are really no nature scenes to speak of. Because this is just strung together TV episodes, a miserable amount of its supposed "outdoor" scenes are filmed on a studio soundstage. A few actual outdoor locations were used for scenes that use horses, helicopters and Richard Kiel (who would later play the assassin "Jaws" in James Bond movies). Kiel wears dark makeup in his role as Chinook Pete, a mentally unstable Native American. In a long standing Hollywood tradition, Chinook Pete is treated insensitively and disgracefully, so there's that to be said for this family film.

Recommended for fans of dumb kids.

Trouble With the Curve (2012)

Directed by Robert Lorenz. This movie, for which Hollywood's working title was "Skeletor Plays Baseball" was Clint Eastwood's first since 2008 ("Skeletor Is Gunned Down In the Street for Liking Koreans"). This is surprising because he is such an omnipresent media personality (2012's "Skeletor Hates the President") and busy director of films that he does not appear in ("J. Edgar," 2011; "Hereafter," 2010; "Invictus," 2009). I can make fun of his appearance all I want, Clint Eastwood is damned productive for an animated corpse.

In "Trouble With the Curve" Eastwood plays Atlanta Braves baseball scout Gus Lobel. In the literal sense the title refers to a problem he senses in a young pitching prospect in North Carolina, though more to the point of the flick, it seems to relate to the expression "around the bend," since for at least 15 years some element of all Clint Eastwood movies is how much aging sucks. This one firmly focuses on how much aging sucks, specifically needing the help of others.

It makes you wonder if it's a coincidence or not that, while this film was as personal as any Eastwood has ever directed himself, it was not directed by him but is the first film directed by Robert Lorenz, Eastwood's second unit director of many years. Just as the character of Gus Lobel requires the help of others for some of the tasks of his job as a baseball scout, including driving but also up-close observation of players, perhaps Eastwood prefers to collaborate more to keep up his current level of productivity.

Maybe I should collaborate more to just to watch movies. I spent all of this movie thinking that Isla Fisher wasn't looking up to par in this when at the end I found out it was Amy Adams. That explained everything. Also, this film includes more support for the notions that Justin Timberlake is a genuine talent.

Recommended if you have patience for a lot of grumbling.